Everything we do involves our control need. All inappropriate human behaviors, from childish spats to global wars, are the product of unmet control need—one person trying to control another person, one group trying to control another group. Too often, we react to such behaviors out of our own unmet control need. For we often react to anger with anger. We can only meet our control need by internally controlling our thoughts, choices, and actions and by externally manipulating our environment to meet our total needs package. As teachers, we must control our classrooms, and we often misinterpret that as meaning we must control our students. We must know that we cannot control anyone but ourselves. We may coerce, manipulate, or bribe our students, but we cannot control them. The best we can do is to teach them to control themselves. To accomplish this daunting task, we must teach our students to recognize and read their feelings and to manage them by meeting their needs, rather than letting their feelings drive their behavior. This lesson addresses one the most fundamental issues in human relationships and classroom management.
Objectives: The students will
1. Take part in a game that will give them the opportunity to experience emotional indicators of power need
2. Explore the kinds of feelings and thoughts they experience which indicate they are not meeting their power/control need
3. Recognize that the same feelings and thoughts may indicate something other than unmet power need
4. Identify points at which they feel they are and are not meeting their power/control need
5. Make a plan for meeting their power/control need
Things to Think About:
1. We have a need for power and control.
2. We only adequately meet our power need when we control internally first. We control internally by controlling our thoughts (pictures), choices, and actions to meet all of our needs most effectively.
3. We only adequately meet our power need when we use external control to meet our needs appropriately. We can only meet our power need adequately when take into consideration of the needs of others. We cannot meet our power need if we violate our love need.
4. We make choices to take control of ourselves internally and exercise external control appropriately.
1. Only we can control ourselves—no one else and nothing else controls us; we control no one else. While something external to us may control our environment, nothing can control our thoughts, choices, and actions.
2. We can only meet our power need by controlling our thoughts, choices, and actions that best meet our total needs package. We can control our thoughts, choices, and actions. When we control our thoughts, choices, and actions, we control our behavior.
3. Every need situation calls our power/control need into play. This is because we have to expend energy to meet every need. We run into problems, however, when we try to exert external control to meet any need before we attain internal control.
4. Feelings of inadequacy, weakness, anxiety, frustration, and anger indicate the need for control.