Six comedies take you from the Roman Civil War through the fall of the Empire. See why Harry Truman read Plutarch: to find out what’s going on in Washington!
• PATRICIAN, POTAHTO: LET’S CALL THE WHOLE THING OFF: The Roman Civil War kicks off when a plebeian, home from Carthage, loses his farm to a rich patrician who made his money the old fashioned way: mass production and slave labor. Murderous anarchy ensues. Sulla calms everyone down by simply killing them all and letting the gods sort them out.
• THERE IS NO “I” IN TRIUMVIRATE: The survivors of the civil war-- Julius Caesar, Pompey and Crassus-- can’t leave well enough alone. Julius is kidnapped by pirates and crucifies them for laughing at his poetry. Crassus gets richer and richer until he chokes on it. Pompey gets pickled, and not in a nice way. Caesar crosses the Rubicon and runs the board. Brutus and Cassius learn about the Law of Unintended Consequences when they destroy the Republic in order to save it. Guest appearances by Spartacus, Cleopatra and a Pirate King or two.
• SNAKES FOR THE MEMORIES: The romance of Cleopatra and the murder-suicide of the Roman Republic: a story so epic, it needs Shakespeare to tell it. That ain’t happening here.
• OH, THOSE WACKY CAESARS! ROMAN EMPERORS FROM TIBERIUS TO NERO: With Caesar’s nephew Augustus in charge, the Roman Empire covers 2,500,000 square miles and houses more than 50 million people. Now Augustus is dead, and the Romans don’t have any way to replace him— except the usual murder and mayhem. The creepy Tiberius, royal poisoner Livia, psychopath Caligula, the all-too-trusting Claudius, the all-too-popular Messalina, and drama queen Nero, these are the poster children who taught us that “absolute power corrupts absolutely”.
• OVER HERE, HUN! or, GOTHS FOR SALE, THEY’RE GOING CHEAP: FALL OF THE ROMAN EMPIRE, PART ONE. It took 700 years to get into this mess, and it’ll take another 300 to watch it all fall apart. Emperor Valens offers to trade Roman dogs for Gothic children, and is quickly chopped into puppy chow. Barbarian tribes crash into one another like railroad cars; there’s a train wreck a-coming, and his name is Alaric the Goth!
• WILL THE LAST PERSON TO LEAVE ROME PLEASE TURN OUT THE LIGHTS? FALL OF THE ROMAN EMPIRE, PART TWO. The Romans fear the Visigoths, the Goths are spooked by Vandals, and everybody’s afraid of Attila the Hun—all except the Princess Honoria, who plots revenge against her brother the Emperor. A thousand tongues are cut out, an assassin carries poison in her kiss, good clean educational fun as the lights go out for a thousand years.
• May be used as an introduction or review. Teaches parallel problems in ancient and modern republics. Sixty-five pages of thrills!